What Really Happened At The Closed Door Meeting…

Jason Beck just wrote a article about a closed door meeting Leyland had.
http://detroit.tigers.mlb.com/news/article.jsp?ymd=20080520&content
_id=2736697&vkey=news_det&fext=.jsp&c_id=det

Jason Beck doesn’t know what he’s talking about. Here is the inside scoop.

After Leyland closed the clubhouse door, he called the team in to a huddle. He motioned for Lamont to lower the clubhouse lights. Slowly Leyland lowered the pants on his uniform so the strap on his pink thong showed. He showed everyone the cute, cuddly glow in the dark rally bunny he had imprinted on his pink, satin thong.

Not to be outdone, Miguel dropped his trousers and showed the club his platinum thong. A thong that in his words, “Costs more than 1000 ransoms back in his home country.” He then went on to light up the studded lights on the thong that says Miggy on the front and juicy on the back.

Zach Miner didn’t want to be outdone either. He lowered his shorts to reveal .99cent dollar store underwear with a homemade iron on logo of a gas can. He said he stole them from Grilli’s locker before the trade. Apparently this makes him feeler “close” to his “friend” Jason Grilli.

At the back of the huddle, Brandon Inge shouted, “this is gay!” Everyone looked back at Brandon and started laughing at the extreme irony of him calling someone gay.

Leyland closed the lil panty party and admonished every player to go out and buy a pink thong so they could iron a rally bunny on it. Sheffield said he can’t wear a satin thong because it would irritate his arthritic butt cheeks.

That’s all I got….

Cabrera Buys Platinum Thong

Earlier this weekend a story broke about New York Yankees Jason Giambi wearing a gold thong.
http://www.thestar.com/Sports/Baseball/article/427049

Upon hearing this, Detroit’s new highest paid star, Miguel Cabrera decided to up the wager.  Miguel called back home to his sister in Central America, she works at an upscale Victoria Secret.  Miguel custom ordered a male, platinum thong.

My sources indicate that Miguel didn’t want to be out done by the aging Yankee 1st baseman and his gold thong.

The details of Miggy’s platinum thong have been kept secret until now.  Here is the inside scoop.  His thong is 100% platinum, with ruby studs that spells out Miggy on the front and juicy on the back.  There’s even a socket for a nine-volt battery so it can light up in the dark.

In a developing story, Brandon Inge may hold out for a better contract so he can buy a bronze thong and alligator slippers.

More to come, this hot story is still developing.

Miner Calls Grilli

After Miner’s last outing, I received secret information about his call to Colorado to discuss things over with Jason Grilli.

My inside scoop says Miner wants out of Detroit.  My inside source also says Grilli wanted out of Detroit all along too.  Both of them feel this organization sinking faster than a boat with a hole in it.

Reports indicate Miner asked advice from Grilli about how to really suck and blow things up.  Miner thought for sure he’d be kicked off the team after his last performance, but Grilli reminded him about Timo and Neifi.  Miner quickly realized sucking isn’t enough to get you kicked off this team.  You have to literally go the next step and set this team on fire!

Grilli instructed Miner to keep throwing those hanging gopher balls, and soon enough he’d be on another team, where Miner could resume being a good player.

Reports around Detroit indicate that any player on the team really sucking it up, is doing it on purpose, with hopes of getting traded to Colorado or to the south side of Chicago.

More Tigers news coming soon. Keep coming back.

Colorado Talks Under Way

The Tigers are looking to make a deal with the Colorado Rockies.

Detroit is showing interest in outfielder Scott Podsednik and catcher Chris Ianetta and a minor league prospect.

Colorado thin at short is looking at Ramon Santiago. So far Detroit has offered Marcus Thames, Ivan Rodriguez, Zach Miner and Kenny Rogers (if St. Louis doesn’t bite).

Keep reading.

Leyland Getting In The Way

I just got back from our meetings deep within the organization and I have some troubling news. I reported late last night that there is a developing trade between Detroit and St. Louis.

We’re looking to trade Rogers and a prospect to The Cardinals for Ryan Ludwick and a potential starting pitcher.

During an early morning conference call, Jim Leyland decided to pipe in and attempt to nix the deal. Word around the office is he even brought in his old pal Tony Larussa to interfere.

I’ll keep you updated.

Also keep your eyes on developing deals between Detroit, Seattle, Pittsburgh, Colorado and of course St. Louis

Rogers To Cardinals Update

This deal is being hashed out. The Cardinals want a medium ranked prospect along with Rogers in return for Ludwick. Detroit is seeking some relief help to go along with Ludwick.

Detroit is willing to give up Pedro Cotto or (Garth) Cale lorg.

This is starting to look impossible. Stay tuned.

Mariners Pirates Rockies

There are currently high level talks between Detroit and The Mariners, Pirates and Rockies.

We could also see a familiar face back in D-town.

Heads Are Rolling

After the next three days, this team will have a new complexion to it.  The calm front portrayed by management and the front office has come to a screeching halt.   Faces are red. Fists are pounding on tables and changes are being made.

I guarantee that by our next game, attitudes will be changed on the team and the organization.  Failure to change will mean change to a new scene.  There are no sacred cows on this team or organization.

I’ll keep you posted as things develop.

Tigers To Trade Rogers

Sorry guys for the late night update. Things are crazy here deep within the organization. On tv everything looks calm, but let me assure, heads are rolling.

We have an exciting next few days coming up. I’ll reveal the next moves as they become known. Things are developing quickly deep in the organization.

The first major move to come is Ryan Ludwick back to Detroit for Kenny Rogers and a player to be named later. They’re still finishing the details of this agreement.

This is the first of many moves soon to come. I’ll keep you updated.